As previously mentioned I had taken a 20 year vacation from Church and worship. After being brought to my knees in a few areas of my life I decided it might be worthwhile to start fresh and try Christianity one more time. After days of discussion Lori and I decided to go "Church Shopping." It was 2003 and here's how that went:
There was a time when people still read newspapers and we tore out the weekly published list of "Local Churches." Being a big fan of the "Red Marker Treatment" I took my felt tip and crossed off any church that had the name "Fellowship" or "Community in it. I did four years hard time in a Catholic High School and I didn't want that either so the big red "X" to them too.
From there I sorted them on how far from home they were. I'm a busy guy and travel time is wasted time. Next came the rankings of how interested I was based on their name and anything I might know about them from driving by on occasion or knowing someone who might go there.
Sunday, by Sunday, we piled into the truck, headed down the street. We timed our appearances just right. Too early and you might get caught in that awkward silence that occurs while waiting for everyone else. Too late and the "good seats" towards the back left side would be gone. It was best to sneak in with the crowd. Once safely inside the critiquing began. No. That's not true. Critiquing began with the newspaper.
I made mental notes of how everything looked, felt, and smelled. I would search for familiar items, or anyone I might know, want to know, or anyone acting out of sorts that I didn't want to know. My "weirdness" radar was highly active and waiting to detect any instance of strangeness or cult-like activity. I would read the church bulletin from cover to cover to see what was of interest not only to me, but to that church. Like a film critc I evaluated everything about the "production". Did things make sense in terms of how things happened, when they happened, and why they happened? We're people friendly, inviting, helpful, or was I left to piece this all together on my own?
The BIG questions to be answered was; "Were we comfortable?"
"The Show" starterd and music was the big one in terms of variance. We had choirs, robes, no robes, bells, organs, HUGE organs, books, no books, guitars, never any drums, good music, and not so good music. It's subjective I know, but sometimes I would just grit my teeth and think to myself "Oh No . . . not that thing again!"
There was the "seat count." Was this church empty, or full? Was at it was it young, or old? Were there kids here and how many, what ages, etc. What was Sunday School like and did my kids have a good time? What did they learn and what were they bringing home? A coloring book page with a story about Jesus "Good" or some craft project that was supposed to be a gift for mommy "Nice, but Not So Good."
We experienced some interesting worship services that ran the gamut from very predictable to very strange. At times I would sit in a service and think to myself "I don't get it." Or "what's that all about?" Kneeling I never understood, or the sign of the cross thing before prayer, or how people remember what to recite back during those very liturgical services where the worshipers are to recite things back. Where did that come from?
Communion. This was easy. No, you're not going to touch that before I do and I can find my own mouth. One cup? Too medieval for me and NOT happening. Where's the water fountain?
Three very memorable experiences are these: First, we left a church one Sunday and Lori said "I really love the people, they're great! It's too bad their worship service is so weird." I had to agree. We were a bit disappointed that we couldn't put the two together and make it work. Second, a church on our "short list" had virtually no parking. It was raining and we would have had to park 3 blocks away on a narrow residential street and make a dash for the door. Instead we ended up all dressed up at a Uncle Bobs Family Restaurant eating pancakes and waffles. The last church on the list, and the one we ended up staying at, is located in the city limits neighboring one of the roughest areas of Rochester. I thought it best to do a little "scouting" so we casually, as if we were just lost and turning around, drove through the parking lot as church was letting out one Sunday. We wanted to make sure we fit in. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
The next Sunday we showed up at what is now Northridge Church and our church home. That was seven years ago. It was the most comfortable, most friendly, and we walked away the first week with a feeling that we mattered. People noticed us, talked to us, and made sure we knew they were happy we found them. On the surface I would evaluate it this way. North wasn't overly stringent and liturgical. Nor was it too loose. It was simply, straight forward, and genuine. There were no odd man-made, or imposing rituals. No bizarre recitations. Just simplicity and a clear, concise message and worship. It all made sense in so many ways. We felt at home and home it has become.
But the bigger story here is how "Church Shopping" happens, the process itself, and what's important to those looking for a home. The answer from the clues is 'Everything". Everything gets evaluated and critiqued. Nothing is off limits in the mind and experience of an outsider coming in for the first time. And the best solution for meeting those expectations is this formula and mindset: "Constant and Never-Ending Improvement." in everything we do. Change is a constant and the only place that "Evolution", so to speak, has an appropriate place in the Church.