A Prodigal's Path

Getting to “Yes” (part 3)

We all experience and deal with a number of hindrances in inviting our friends and family to worship and church events. None of them maybe more paralyzing than the fear or feeling of rejection. One of the first things I was taught in sales was that "No" and "Yes" are mathematical probabilities. It was something to the effect that you'll get 7 "No" responses for every "Yes". I have no idea if that's true but it has always helped me get on with my asking . . . somewhere out there is a "Yes".

Gracefully Getting Past "No". The reality of asking is that we must be prepared for disappointment and rejection. It happens. It's natural. And it happens regardless of whom we are, how old we are, and despite how influential we might be. But the stakes are higher in our endeavor and mission as the Church and the implication of "No" is much more weighty, eternal, and heart-wrenching than is being rejected by mom in the candy isle of the check-out line.

If there is a parallel message to be found in the Gospels then Jesus may be delivering the "Gracefully Getting Past No" message to the disciples here:

"Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death, and you will be hated by all for my name's sake." ~ Jesus (Matthew 10:21-22 ESV)

Right after Jesus tells them that when they are rejected in one town to move on to the next (v 23), followed by this:

"Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven," ~ Jesus (Matthew 10:31-32 ESV)

Matthew 10 concludes with Jesus asking us to take on the smallest of tasks in His name and act, and ask, on His behalf.

"And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward." ~ Jesus (Matthew 10:42 ESV)

 

How to Gracefully Getting Past "No" may best be answered by paraphrasing Jesus' instructions to the twelve. He, Christ, never promised us that following Him would be easy. He knows, and asks, that we face challenges. But just as He did with the twelve, the words of Matthew remind us of these truths:

We will face rejection . . . but only if we ask (v 21-23)

When rejection comes accept it and move on (v23)

Don't be afraid . . . asking is worth it (v 31-32)

We're acting for Him . . . and asking on His behalf. (v42)

In other words . . . the rejection, and hopeful acceptance, is not about us,

It's all about Him. It always is.

 

 

Getting to “Yes” (part 2)

In "Getting to Yes Part 1" I commented that: "What you say is just as important as how you say it." And nothing may be truer than when we are trying to invite our un-churched friends to Church. That in its self maybe part of the problem.

 Stop Inviting Friends to Church. What? Did he just say what I think he said? You read it right: Stop inviting friends to church and start asking them to attend "events" and "celebrations". After spending 20 years looking at churches from across the street let me say that a great many if our un-churched friends don't attend Church because they simply don't want to . . . and for variety of reasons.

People are more prone to accept an invitation to attend and "event" . . . such as an Easter or Christmas Celebration. They may be very interested in attending classes like Financial Peace classes or life applicable lessons on raising teens, dealing with marriage, etc . . . anything but "church."

So look at your prayer list from Part 1 and start thinking of better ways to ask. A lot of 'what' you say may be in 'what' you know about your friend.

See if the gate is open by asking: "How are you celebrating Easter this year?"

The answer right now doesn't matter . . . it's "what" we say next.

"Northridge is having a cool 1 hour celebration at 10:00. It's the best if you'd like to come." And if it works add something like, "We can grab a coffee at Starbucks along the way."

A few things just happened, and didn't happen in that sentence. First, we didn't say "church". Second, we put an appealing time limit on it because people may be more willing to accept if they know they won't be held hostage all morning. Third, we invited them to an event. I never mentioned "church", although I did refer to, and I never used "insider" words like "Resurrection Sunday" . . . even that one still "spooks" me a bit.

That's it. Short, simple, and purposeful. No pressure, no "insider" scary words. And no unintentional mixed messages like "you should join us".

Two quick thoughts; First, if they accept make sure you dress as they are . . . nothing is worse than being a visitor and feeling out of place. Second, know that it's really God's work and will and be open enough to gracefully accept "no".

Think about this verse,

     Jesus said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter replied, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 16:15-17 ESV)

While it was Jesus, doing his ministry on this earth, and even though it was himself rubbing shoulders with his disciples daily, he still gave all credit and praise to God the Father for His work in the hearts and minds of men. 

 Have faith, believe in the work your Father, and just ask. Oh . . . and if you attend Northridge the Easter Celebration times are 8:30, 10:00, and 11:30.

 

Getting to “Yes” (part 1)

Easter this year is April 24^th . . . roughly 5 weeks away . . . or 41 days to be exact. Most churches will experience an influx of visitors much like Sundays that neighbor the Christmas holiday. Many of us may think it's a bit strange that popular culture thinks these are the best, or most appropriate, two Sunday's to "visit" church while they can casually ignore the other 50. If that really is the thought process of our mostly un-churched friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers then it may just be the opening in the gate we need to walk through to "Get to Yes." Meaning if these indeed are the 2 Sundays a year that our culture is open enough to entertain the idea of attending church then perhaps it's our duty to ask and invite. It may be our best chance to "Get to Yes."

Having been in some form of sales nearly my entire life I'd like to share a few thoughts and ideas on "Getting to Yes" over the next few days. For those of you that are shy about sales . . . or think that "sales" and "church" should never be co-mingled in the same sentence let me say this: the "art of sales" is simply mastering the "art" of asking" the best question at the most appropriate moment. That's why most of us are quick to run from loud, pushy, obnoxious, over-the-top, sales people.

Regardless of what homespun wisdom may believe; What you say IS just as important as HOW you say it. But before we get into all the semantics let me share with you a great concept from Outreach Pastor Scott Bixby.

Begin With Prayer.

Scott introduced the idea of PI² to Northridge Church a few years ago. That is; Pray, Invest, and Invite. Pretty simple equation, so for today let's start there. Let's start by building a list of people in our lives that we are Invested in. That is, put together a list of people that we rub shoulders with on a regular basis. While it may be easy and tempting to populate our list with those that seem most approachable, let me encourage you to put those seemingly least receptive and most in need at the top of your list. Remember, God has often chosen those least likely, least popular, and most broken, to accomplish His will.

For now let's simply pray for wisdom, courage, receptive minds, soft hearts, and open gates.

"do not be anxious about anything, but by everything in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6 esv)

 

Doctors of Empathy

     In one of life's many discussions I shared this thought with a friend a few days ago: 

     Maybe it's about learning to be content? That is, adopting a love and appreciation for the friends around you and people in your life, and mine. About finding the "good things" people and circumstances bring into our lives. Perhaps it's about taking on a new learned posture in relationships and life that says "I will think before I act." Suppose we loved people for who they are, where they are, and not what we want them to be? What if we became the "Doctors of Empathy" and practiced learned understanding before we jumped to conclusions? What if we first we're still . . . and listened to our hearts?  

     Perhaps we should practice being more content . . . and learn to be satisfied with, or accept on some level, the things we cannot change.

     Maybe we could love and admire what we do have . . . and not be frustrated by passions for the things we want but do not truly need.

     Maybe learning to be content is the first footstep on the path of peace.

 

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world." (1 Timothy 6:6-7 ESV)

 

Monkeys See . . . What Monkeys Do.

     I have to admit that if there were a line formed of people who wrestle with fully living out Christianity that at times I would cut the line to be First. Don't get me wrong here. I'm not suggesting that I question my faith or belief . . . it's more that I wrestle with transferring that faith and belief into my daily life. Perhaps some of that is my own fault for always looking at things from different angles, trying to find meaning, and questioning nearly everything. 

     Working through one of these trying times recently I made a decision that I would sit out of Church on Sunday morning and make myself busy with work. Deliberately defiant I justified my choice with the fact I just needed a breather . . . I just need to take a step back for a day. So off to an appointment I went. A relaxing stop at Starbucks followed by a meandering pace to where ever it was I was off too. I began texting a close friend of mine who is Jewish . . . and being such it's a safe bet on Sunday morning that he's not in Church either.

     Our life-speak chatter goes on for a few minutes when across my screen comes "Dude, how come you're not in Church?" . . . and the strings that bind my heart to The Truth start to unravel as I go numb. It's then that I start to realize I've not only headed off into the wrong direction that morning; worse yet, that I may have started to drag those I am to influence down that dangerous detour with me.

     It's disheartening that at a time when I really need to draw closer to Christ that I'll sometimes choose to take a step backwards. At the times I may need Him most that I sometimes choose Him less. For those of you wondering where my blog has been for the last month . . . that "day away" turned into a few weeks. And while I can produce a host of buyable excuses it all comes down to this . . . I get in trouble when I start asking "Why?' Why God this? Why right now? Why would you do that to me? Why don't you, God, take care of this, or that? All that negative chit chat soon drains one's spirit dry of the joy found in the life-blood that set us free.

     The question really needs to be "What?" . . . and asked with persistent patient prayer. "What" God would you have me do? "What" God would you have me learn? "What" God is your perfect purpose for my life today?

     See the difference? "Why" always seems to lead us inward. "Why" can have a narrowing focus that starts to tie up and tangle our heart strings as we pursue some excuse or misdirected reason. "What" on the other hand opens us up to His vast possibilities. "What" takes off our blinders and spreads out the horizon before us as we patiently await God's purpose to crest the landscape of our life. "What" changes our focus from inward to outward. "What" is asking God to lead us and show us . . . where as "Why" seeks excuses and blame.

     "What" seeks the promise of today and the future before us. "Why" can tether us to yesterday and drown us in the past.

     When those around me, presumably lost and far from God, point out that I'm off the path then something is definitely amiss with my heart.

     "What" I need to do next time I'm feeling spiritually bewildered is find His feet, kneel there, and pray earnestly while I patiently await His direction.

     For those of you, who like me, get stuck on the "Whys" consider this truth:

     "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to"  (2 Corinthians 5:16-18 ESV)

     Paul reminds us that the past does not equal the future.  That promise is before us, not behind us.  That we are precious, dear, and alive with new life.

     And so begins the 2^nd year of my blog . . . welcome back to a Prodigal's Path.