Encouraging the Discouraged – A Letter To My Wife.

   As much as we would like to keep our heads down and plow through our days uninterrupted by the events of the world it just seems at some point we all get tapped on the shoulder and come face to face with life's curve balls. My wife, Loriann, got a full dose of disappointment followed by a shot of discouragement this last week.

   Now that our two children are able to dress, feed, and somewhat successfully fend for themselves for an hour or so after school she's been pursuing a full-time career of her choosing and not just settling for something that fits the time constraints of raising constantly needy kids. She's persistent. She knows exactly what she wants to do now that she's somewhat freed up time-wise. But in today's economic environment great opportunities seem elusive. I'm sure like so many others she got excited about a great interview and exciting opportunity last week only to meet and feel the heart break of discouragement. She got excited about a great interview and what seemed to be a dream job. She found out she was the #1 pick until . . . well, it all went away.

   She called me broken up and choking back her disappointment. You would think that someone who can write so fluently would be able to say just as much and speak expressively from the heart. Well, I can't.  As horrible as I too felt the most I could well up was a sympathetic "I'm sorry." The call ended and I loitered around the garage a bit picking up wrenches, cleaning tools, and putting the motorcycle away for the winter ahead. I collected my thoughts and sent her this note:

Lori,

   Here is what I know about life . . . and God . . .  that He loves you a lot . .  . that He does have something better waiting for you and the disappointment you feel right now, today, will only make His waiting gift for you even that much more precious and meaningful.  You have to know and believe in the depths of your heart that He does have something for you.  He never said anything would ever be easy.  And I don't think He chooses to work that way . . . I don't honestly believe He wants to spoil us by handing us free reign to His riches. I believe he expects to work hard, to put everything in our being into our pursuits and into pursuing Him.  Why?  Why would a loving Father not just hand us the "good and perfect gifts" that James talks about?  I believe it's because God loves appreciation and gratification.  God loves heartfelt praise and glorification.  God loves to see us over-joyed and happy . . . and God knows we get there through dedication and persistent meaningful pursuits.

   Here is what I know about you . . . that I love you . . . and that I love you a lot.  I know I believe in you and I know you'll keep working hard and pursuing your perfect pursuit.  I also know that in the end, when that perfect opportunity does show up, in God's perfect timing, that you'll be extremely excited, enthusiastic, and ever grateful.  

  Be encouraged that people are calling and talking to you in a world and time where people are about to exhaust 2 years of unemployment benefits.  Be ever grateful that your practice and presentation has made you a first or second choice on someone's list . . . it means you're just that much closer . . . just another day away . . . He knows it . . . He is there, right there next to you . . . sharing in your disappointment and asking you to trust Him.  It's true.    

  What else is true is that I love you now more than ever . . . and what is mind and heart altering to me is that He is able to love you more . . . it doesn't seem possible.  

  Lori . . . He knows . . . but tell Him anyway.  Tell Him you're disappointed, hurting, and discouraged.  Tell Him you don't understand why . . . and tell Him you trust Him.  He already knows . . . but He wants to hear it from you.  He's just that way . . . I know.   

  Patience, Persistence, and Prayer.

Love you lots,

Harlan

 

   It's all true. God does have a plan . . . for all of us. What is also true is that God has always used, and continues to use, the power of contrast to bring us to Himself. God uses our disappointment and discouragement to bring us great happiness when we finally come around to leaning on Him and fully trusting in His care. Christ never said "come to the cross and I will solve all your problems" . . . instead He implores us to find faith, trust, belief, and life in Himself and the plans He has made for us. It's our impatience that bankrupts us all. We often sell ourselves short when we choose to exhaust and give up not only on ourselves, but on Him.

   John Lennon said "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." I'm not sure Lennon ever considered 'Whose plans?' Ours? Or His?

   Jesus, in Matthew 6:25-33 confronts our worry and anxiety. Again, he uses contrast to draw us nearer to Him by showing us how God provides for even the birds and flowers of the earth and expresses how much more valuable we are to Him. He asks us to "seek first the kingdom of God", His plan, and that He knows and will meet our needs if we first pursue and trust Him. Then he adds:

   "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." ~ Jesus, (Matthew 6:34 ESV)

 

 

 

 

Comments

[matt tomlinson]

Great post harlan