A Prodigal's Path

Writing & Righting Our Lives.

If the chapters in the Story of Our Lives are written mostly by the outcomes of the decisions we make; Then effectively changing the results we achieve and improving the quality of our days will be begin with careful and prayerful consideration to the choices and consequences we commit to. ~ hf

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
~ Proverbs 3:5-6

 

notes from my journal, August 18 2010.

 

Lost Intentions . . .

In an unexplored recess of our attic is a box that holds my High School yearbooks and in my senior year edition the following is scrawled:

"If we learn by doing then what are we doing here?"

It's not a recent re-discovery. Like the page that holds it, it's been buried in the corner of my mind ever since Dave Aiello scribbled it into permanence.  Dave's indelible inscription echoes sentiments of sarcasm, challenge to authority and norms, the trampling of repetition for the sake of tradition, and some odd sort of wisdom that begs the question: "Am I any closer to 'A' if I am engaged in 'B'?" 

So, "If we learn by doing then what are we doing here?" still echoes through my senses as if to remind me to question my presence and productivity in any given situation. Is this place, this meeting, this activity, this very moment the most productive thing I can be doing right now? Am I getting closer to my goal, farther away, or just treading water?

I often feel that way at Church. "If I learn by doing then what am I doing here?" I become inspired by challenging messages, great gospel oriented ideals and ideas. I become motivated and excited. I'm going to set out and "do something". And much like the 6 years of 'magical' church bulletins that disappear from my possession within minutes of the dismissal prayer; my good intentions too become lost somewhere in the distance between my seat in Church and the car door. What happens to all the brilliance and ambition? Surely Christianity is more than an idea. More than a transcript of the rights and wrongs that I act out. More than a great message that becomes absorbed through my aural canals and seated into my squishy grey matter. Where is "The Doing?"

I have to believe that "The Doing" must be much greater than myself getting "better". Better at not getting angry. Better at shortening the list of bad words that slip out into the air. Better at being nice to "that neighbor". Somehow, somewhere, and some way I have this haunting feeling that all this "betterness" is supposed to be transposed and transmitted to the world at large. At times I feel like a bewildered delivery man . . . standing on a busy downtown corner holding a very important Express Delivery package but I can't find the address . . . I despair and I stare blankly at the neat, tidy, unaddressed parcel. I know the message inside is of utmost importance. Not just to me, but to the world.

And so go my thoughts . . . how do I get all this "learning" into motion and really start "doing". If the world is to be enlightened by Christ through me then why does it seem the brightness of my ambition is sucked into the dark asphalt of the parking lot just beyond the doors of worship?

I've discovered that Christianity is more than a book, more than a good idea, and more than a noun or adjective. Christianity is a verb. It's a "Do" . . . not a "have" or "am". Sure, I "have" Christ. He has me and "Yes, I am". But now . . . What to do?

I don't have an answer and feel a bit amiss . . . full, but hollow.

I pray and ponder . . .

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." ~ James 1:22-25

What to do . . . . ?

 

 

A Baptism Moment To Share

It’s no mystery that our most valued memories are the biggest days of our lives.  Those locked away particles of time that move us emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically.  We label them, mark them on our calendars, and store them away like the treasures they are: weddings, anniversaries holidays, graduations, vacations, new life introductions, and life end celebrations.  Few have been more moving and memorable than the birth and re-birth of my daughter Alexis.

On August 1^st Northridge Church met at the shoreline of Lake Ontario to celebrate life, grace, and renewal.  It was an indescribable moment to be able to baptize my daughter.

 
"I Believe." 

Words will never be able fill the depths of gratitude for the grace that captures our hearts.

 
A Heavenly Father Calls . . .

 
A Child of God Obeys

 
In Him “I’m Alive!”

 
Through Him We Love.

 

Two quick thoughts;

First, someone later asked me what I said to Alexis just before Mark & I baptized her.  It went something like this “Alexis, I love you and I’m very proud of you.  You’re one of the best gifts God has given me in my life.  I just want to let you know that you have the most magnificent Father in the universe . . . and as your Dad I am here to help you learn more about him and help you find your way home . . . and now we baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”

Second, while we sat on the shore line and listened to amazing and inspiring stories of God’s grace and pre-emptive hand in people’s lives this descriptive thought, I later penned, came to mind:

“There is nothing more moving than the emotion and expression of one's spirit set free and redeemed by a loving Father and life giving Christ. Our Father is awesome!”

 

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” ~ Paul,  Romans 12:1-2

 

Good Choice. Bad Choice. The Multiplier.

Choices. We all have them. We all make them. And some are much better than others; both the choices themselves and some people's ability to hit the bull's eye more often than not. And while a majority of our choices simply reside in the mundane: "White, whole wheat, or rye?" Each has an outcome and consequence. Some good, others not so good. And still, not making a choice is a choice.

A couple things I've learned about "This" or "That" lately.

First, making "Good Choices" and decisions is a skill that can be practiced, honed and refined. Good choices require perspective, patience, and prayer. A well oiled and exercised decision making machine, like our brains, combined with a Godly perspective can produce a life boundless in valuable wisdom.

Second, "Bad Choices" are usually the ones I make when I'm "out of balance" of sorts. When I react on emotion rather than reason; like the choices I may make when I'm angry, vengeful, or just feeling tired and irritated. They are the twists and turns I choose when I'm not really seeing clearly and don't carefully consider the possible outcomes to my 'spur of the moment' whims.

Third, "The Multiplier" effect is this; I like to think about outcomes in the terms of physics in that every choice has a rippling effect like a pebble thrown into a still pond. Those ripples can be the gentle waves that create "good vibes" for ourselves and those we share the pool with. The "Multiplier" of our good choices is simply positive outcomes and the continued ability and wisdom to make more good choices in the future. We're working in harmony with God and our God given purpose. It's not to say it's always easy. At times making good choices can really stress our spiritual fortitude.

Those ripples can also turn into the torrents that spin our lives out of control. Run a bad choice through the "Multiplier" and more often than not the outcome of our ill fated decision is to choose between the lesser of two evils in order to dig ourselves out. Seriously, think about it. Someone tells a lie to their spouse to cover up the purchase of . . . well . . . ok, a motorcycle accessory. When found out, that "someone" must now choose between: (A) continuing the cover up . . . . mmmm not so good; or (B) telling the truth and coming clean . . . a better choice, but with consequences to the element of trust in the relationship. Things are often never the same in the aftermath of bad decision making.

I've always mistaken "Wisdom" for "Knowledge."  Not so. King Solomon wasn't the biggest "know-it-all" to walk the planet. He was the wisest and gifted with discernment. His wisdom gave him the ability to think, see clearly, and produce, or choose, the best outcome. Perhaps our ability to discern the right outcome is to begin with the right questions about our choices.

Solomon's "note book" on wisdom is the Book of Proverbs and its sentiment is rich in, and about, "Wisdom". Solomon states that wisdom and knowledge are acquired and accrued by surrounding ourselves with intelligent, upright, friends and counsel in order to avoid the numerous "follies of fools". He also echoes that the beginning of wisdom and understanding begins in seeking a relationship with God.

All that to say: If we desire to make better decisions and good choices then we should be patient, gather input from our most trusted and wisest friends, and foremost talk to God. And from "someone's" personal experience; a read through the Book of Proverbs before you confirm your credit card number on your next 'secret' purchase ain't a bad idea either.